Tommy Ahn
Mr. Schwager
AP English 407
9 March 2014
CWP Q3: Love Satire
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want for better socks.
Socks, in modern society, have a tremendous and perhaps an invaluable importance among people. Regardless of the fact that some improvident people frequently refer to socks as something inconsequential or even inferior, there are numerous evidences to refute such claims. Both by their appearance and their practical usage, socks are the single most well invented clothing in the world.
In terms of appearance, one can not doubt this universal maxim: “all great fashions start from socks and are completed by socks.” The numerous possibilities of the sublime style that socks have in the world of fashion and design is of a great potential. Ranging from rainbow socks to flip-flop socks, the variety of socks is sheer amazement to people in search for the avant-garde style. There is nothing more enjoyable to stylish people than to match the color of their socks with the rest of their outfit. Therefore, the fact that stores specializing in selling socks are so rare in the country is a great mystery to everyone. We can not but to lament the fact that entrepreneurs are missing a tremendous opportunity to gain massive fortune in the socks industry. In fact, a renowned economist suspects that fashion magazines specializing in stylish socks would have a market value of over billions of dollars in America. It is only right for people in fashion industries to endeavor making a socks runway show to increase the awareness of the importance of socks in fashion. After all, choosing the right socks to wear is the most divine act a person could think of in the world of fashion.
In a practical point of view, it is not an exaggeration to say that socks have saved more lives than any of the vaccines invented by modern civilizations. Feet are parts of people's bodies that are most prone to bacterial infection, especially when they are wet. With the aid of socks, people maintain a great hygienic environment by keeping their feet from flooding with sweat. Without socks, the modern civilizations would have suffered from a plethora of pernicious bacterial diseases, most of them unknown so far. Without the presence of warm and cozy socks, winters would have been unbearable and fatal to most people (there is no wonder why homeless shelters desperately ask for socks donation above all other donations). Most soldiers during World War I recall that itchiness resulting from cheap nylon socks was deadlier than enemy bullets. After cotton socks were distributed to soldiers during World War II, it is speculated to have saved millions of soldiers' lives from the devastating itchiness. Using this significant fact as evidence, people should petition The Pentagon to use more national defense fundings in order to improve the quality of current military socks.
Development of weapons has met its limit and the possibility of producing meaningful outcomes is very scarce. On the other hand, it is a proven fact that the improvement of socks is guaranteed to bring efficiency and safety to modern warfares. Most people overlook the fact that fluffiness of socks is a crucial factor in bringing American troops back safely. The comfort soldiers gain from the softness of their socks is ultimately the motivation for them to move swiftly and silently to avoid enemy detections.
It is highly deplorable that people often times overlook the historical implications socks have in this world. The globalization that modern society cherishes in various fields could not have been achieved without the aid of socks. Adventure, not even within a single country, could not have been made possible if it was not for the invention of socks. Long-distance walks, which always resulted in having terrible blisters, should have been far too intimidating for ancient people without socks. However, when socks were first invented by ancient Greeks in the early 8th century, they have given human beings the courage and strength to explore beyond the boundaries. It is suspected that all forms of great exploration by civilizations started right after the emergence of comfortable socks. Some prestigious historians assert that the Silk Road, the longest and the greatest trading route of all times, was established by ancient men who first used silk socks (it is arguable that the road was named after them). Based on this crucial fact, it is only right to insist that the trademark of the International Trade Center be changed to a nice pair of socks rather than a mundane ship. No one can doubt the fact that trademark using socks as its symbols will be highly exalted by all the people who knows how to appreciate the contribution of socks in international trades.
The socks museum, called "Socks Summit", in Boston is one of the most significant buildings human beings have ever built in this century. It is suspected that the only reason why it has not been ranked among the most prestigious museums is that it was not introduced well enough. The socks museum captures all the aspects of development among human civilizations by displaying old socks in a chronicle order. It is a great amazement how the curator compacted hundred-years-old American history within the mundane fabrics displayed. It is truly regrettable that only one socks museum exists in United States. Museum with such an excellence like the socks museum ought to be funded by the government and encouraged to spread across the country. It is evident that socks is the most efficient object to communicate messages indirectly. Ranging from red Christmas socks to football socks, each socks communicate a different messages and subtle meanings. Having more socks museum no doubt would create greater awareness of American history and, more importantly, appreciation for socks.
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