Mr. Schwager
AP English Literature, 407
10 March 2014
Potato, Potato
Melted cheese caressing the mountain tops. Butter flowing in every valley. Sour cream
dolloped on the peaks like a soft cloud. Salt tucked away in hidden corners for a savory surprise.
Bacon bits sprinkled as an ornament across the entire display. This is a baked potato.
A family of French fries nestled in a basket, ready to dive into a lagoon of smooth, rich
ketchup. Fine potato shreds with a crunchy exterior accompanying breakfast's bacon and eggs.
Mounds of luscious fluffs of potatoes drowning in warm gravy. And yet, there are still dozens of
other varieties and preparations for the heavenly potato.
On the third day when God created vegetation, I think the Bible left out an important
detail. When God saw all that He had made that day, He must’ve been looked at the potato and
then concluded “it was good”. Is it a coincidence that God made the most versatile and delicious
crop the easiest to grow? Place a potato in a dark closet and this wonder will yield an offspring
not much different than a potato grown in Farmer John’s backyard. Just because it is common
and readily available does not diminish its value. There are simply more opportunities for us to
enjoy it.
Still, potatoes always find a way to serve a purpose, even if it is outside of the food
industry. Did the neighbor’s mad mutt break into your garden and prematurely pluck your
precious potatoes? Take them to work and distribute them as free paper weights. Maybe even fling these little guys to that neighbor’s window as a way of saying, “Hey! You better keep your
dog away from my potatoes!” Did the doctor prescribe an anti-starch diet? Grab some googly
eyes and glitter and make your own pet potato instead of throwing them in the trash. There are
even more practical uses. Carve a design on a potato and use it as a cheap stamp. Tape a slice on
a splinter-infected area overnight and it will draw the splinter right out. Plug in wires from a
clock into the potato to complete the circuit and efficiently tell time. Save your hands from
cutting diced by screwing out a broken lightbulb with a potato. They can even be used to shine
shoes! The possibilities really are endless. Never be ashamed to use a potato as a substitute at the
park if there are no baseballs around. Never be ashamed of a potato.
One day, as I lay horizontal to the floor on a most uncomfortable, plastic-sealed chair, my
dentist revealed to me extremely unfortunate news: I needed my wisdom teeth removed. The
countless horror stories I had heard about this procedure began to become real in my mind as I
contemplated the possibilities of what would happen to me. In preparation for this critical
moment in my life, I took a trip to the grocery store to find my meals for the upcoming days.
Because of my condition, I would need soft foods to consume without the use of my teeth. I
picked up boxes of grape-flavored gelatin, cans of tomato soup, and bottles of my favorite juices.
I then strolled through the produce aisle, and it dawned on me that mashed potatoes qualified as
an eligible bachelor for my meals for the next three days. I immediately purchased a sack of
these sparkling beauties.
They say you only know your true friends when they’ve seen you at your worst. Indeed,
potatoes proved to be my true friend. As I lay in bed with my cheeks twice their size, my mashed potatoes never left my side. The creamy texture, the savory flavor, the overall warm goodness
provided me the comfort I needed during this rough time. They also say that spending too much
time with even your best friends can cause annoyance. Did I ever become fed up with my
mashed potatoes during my healing period? Not once. They proved to be the truest of true. Every
spoonful was like a taste of heaven.
Another instance of the grace of the potato is my most recent physics project. I spent
several weekends, countless hours pouring all my brain power into this project. In order to secure
my A for the quarter, I needed to succeed. The day finally came when we were to all display our
hard work out on the practice field. My catapult appeared small in size compared to my
classmates’, but I hoped it would be greater in power. The thought of having to sacrifice russet
potatoes for our launches was saddening, but I took solace in the fact that they were being used
for a good purpose. My first attempt resulted in a decent score, but I needed to do better. The
second toss went slightly farther but was still not good enough. As I walked across the field to
retrieve my potato, I noticed one end had been broken off. The potato was now slightly smaller
and lighter than how I had originally received it. A sense of hope developed in my soul. This
potato was determined to give me the A I so desperately wanted. I secured this modified potato
into the sling and prepared for my third and final launch. I set off my mechanism and watched
this potato soar. Mr Dauphin threw up his hands into the air, signaling to me that I had reached
the required distance. This potato had sacrificed its own well-being for my success. I forever
remain in its debt.
Large or small, russet or red, the potato never fails to please its owner. Don’t take it for
granted! Don’t forget to appreciate its worth. Enjoy God’s gift to mankind.
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